Setting Up Power of Attorney for an Elderly Parent

You can help. You cannot decide.

This is the single most important rule, so it goes first. Your parent is the donor, the person the LPA belongs to. The law requires them to have mental capacity, to choose their own attorneys, and to sign before anyone else. You can research the options, fill in every box, book the GP appointment and pay the fee. The decisions have to be theirs.

Done that way round, helping a parent set up an LPA is not just allowed. It is one of the most useful things an adult child can do, and it is the most common reason people come to services like ours.

Why now matters more than you think

An LPA can only be made while the donor still has capacity. If your parent is already showing signs of dementia, that does not automatically rule it out (can someone with dementia make a power of attorney? explains how capacity is judged). Capacity is decision-specific and can come and go, and early-stage dementia often leaves plenty of it. But the window closes, and once it does, the only route is a deputyship through the Court of Protection: months of process, a £432 application fee, ongoing supervision fees, and usually solicitor costs on top. The court also picks the deputy. It might not pick you.

So if the conversation feels awkward, have it anyway. The alternative conversation, after a fall or a diagnosis, is worse.

Having the conversation

A few things help. Frame it as sorting paperwork while everything is fine, not as a verdict on their independence. Point out that the property and finance LPA can sit registered but unused, only coming into play if they ever want help. And do your own will and LPA at the same time if you have not. "I'm doing mine, shall we do yours too" lands very differently from "we need to talk about your affairs".

Choosing attorneys, when you might be one

Your parent may well choose you, and possibly your siblings too. If more than one attorney is appointed, they will need to decide whether you act jointly (everyone agrees everything) or jointly and severally (any of you can act alone). Jointly and severally is the practical choice for most families, and it keeps the LPA working if one attorney later cannot act.

Be honest about geography and family dynamics. An attorney two hundred miles away can manage a bank account online. Two siblings who cannot share a group chat should probably not be forced to agree every decision unanimously.

Watch for one thing

The certificate provider, the independent person who confirms your parent understands the LPA and is not being pressured, cannot be you, your siblings, or anyone else in the family. A neighbour or friend who has known your parent well for two years works, and so does their GP. The rules are in our certificate provider guide.

With PureWill

Our LPA service is built for exactly this: the first question asks who the LPA is for, and the answers stay your parent's throughout. £129 for both types, with a printed, posted pack option so nobody has to find a working printer. While you are helping them get organised, it is worth checking their will is up to date too.